johnathon alejandro arce

Morning After

“Y volver volver, voooooooolveeeeer”, Ughhh what the fuck. I wrestle with my eyelids they can’t seem to stay open. I swing my heavy handed limb towards the snooze button. It launches the clock straight to the ground. I’ve been trying out this new music alarm. I can't stand the same old “Beep, Beep Beep!”, it never works. If only I had a window. I’d wake up to the sun's warmth gliding its way down my face. It’d make my mornings a lot more enjoyable. I still don't understand why I’d fuck myself over with loud ass 104.1’s banda music; I don't even understand spanish, my dad never took the time to teach me. I guess I keep the music, because it reminds me of better times. Welp, it's 7:19 I’m more then late at this point. Why bother to rush getting ready now? I take my time, and decide I’ll just take a later train. Better late than never I think to myself. For some reason it's always difficult to wake myself up.

 

I wonder where my dad is I usually rely on him to wake me up and take me to school now. The Ford is down as well so we use the other car to just drop me off. I continue to walk like a zombie upstairs.There he is still sleeping with a well sealed condom beside him. So I nudged him saying i’m late. Again. He wakes up confused telling me how I need to be responsible and that its because I go to sleep too late. But there it is, its you. I'm enjoying her vanilla perfume as he continues talking and rushes to the bathroom.

 

I walk to my kitchen looking for something edible. We have cereal but no milk and a tub of potato salad that I'm pretty sure is sour. There is never food anymore. I'm looking around and see the petalless flowers. My dad walks with his heavy boots right past me and goes straight outside.

 

While wiping the snow off the new toyota I ask him when he's going to fix the ford. His response is that its coughing oil into the cement. He says he gave up on it, its transmission is too far gone and cannot afford it. I scrape off the last bit of ice. I swear hate this car! It doesn't have any character like our ford. He could easily fix it but he is choosing not to. How does he move on so easily, how so fast? He just doesn't want to put any more time into you. He doesn't even want to think about you anymore. He asks me if i'm gonna get in the car. I have no choice. In that car I put my songs on shuffle and the first song that comes on is Blue Magic- sideshow. One of your favorite songs Ma I miss you.